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January 9, 2012

Funniest story ever!

You all have one. That one little guy who is as sneaky as can be and will try to steal anything he can fit into his pocket, pencil box, or book bag. He's an equal opportunity kleptomaniac who will take anything regardless of it's value. He's been caught red handed with everything from an orange connecting cube to some body's snack. He doesn't mean any harm in taking any of this stuff, he just knows he wants it so why cant he just take it?
Well I have one this year. He's a sweet kid who wants nothing more than to make you happy, but his ADHD is severe and taking random objects from the class is just one of the challenges I have had to get use to. It's actually gotten to the point that anytime I see one of his pockets bulging, I know it's time to go pat him down and then inspect his book bag. He takes things from me and the other kids almost daily. If I don't catch it before he goes home, his mom will send it back the next day in Ziploc baggie. Today was no different from any other. He was actually having a really good day. (The other two who came in without meds today-well that's a whole other posting!) We were on our way to art class, just getting started to line up when I noticed him at the back of the line....shoulders hunched up, one hand in his pocket, and his eyes shifting left and right to see who was watching.
I knew right away there was something in that right front jeans pocket that he didn't want anybody to know he had! As I approach him, I see his pocket is bulging! He barely has room to get his hand out of it! I slid up next to him and the conversation went something like this:
Me: "B", what's in your pocket?
B-Nothing! (his rips his hands out of his pocket and his eyes are wide as saucers right about now)
Me: I think you have something in your pocket because I saw you playing with it. What do you have? You know we can't take toys with us to art class.
B: Nothing!
Me: Now "B" you know that if I have to, I will take it out of your pocket. This is the last chance you have to just give it to me. By now he is clutching his pocket with both hands. He knows I'll do it.
Me: Okay, move your hands. (I reach for his pocket and he gives up. He knows it's no use drawing attention to himself by arguing with me).
I reach into his pocket and grab a handful of stuff. There's a broken purple crayon, a Popsicle stick and what I think at first glance are some markers. But I keep looking at these markers. Something is not right. Markers are not this shiny, or all one color. Markers aren't usually retractable. As I stare at these colorful plastic tubes in my hands, it finally dawns on me what I'm looking at. I didn't recognize them after pulling them out of a five year old's pocket unwrapped!!!!!!

Those aren't markers my friends!!!! Those are unwrapped tampons!!!!
I was so shocked! I instantly start wondering if they're mine, then realize I ran out of those about a month ago and had to run to another teacher down the hall....Phew! That's a relief!!!

Me:(Now trying to hide them behind my back and keep a straight face just in case any other child just happens to recognize them. I can only imagine the stories they would tell later at home about Mrs. S and a handful of tampons!) Where did you get those?!?!?!?
B: From home. (He obviously has no idea what they are)
Me: Well I'm just going to hang on to them. I don't think your mom wants them back now.
And then off we go to art class.

After I dropped them off, I shared this story with the girls in my hallway everybody I met in the hall, because it was so unbelievably funny! And also, I wasn't quite sure if I should send them back home. Should I include a note? What in the world do you say in a note home about that?!
I decided that I would be horrified if my 5 year olds teacher returned the tampons that my son had taken to school that day and decided to just threw them away without sending a note. I am a little scared now of what he will bring in for his Show~N~Tell next week. :)

Stories like these are just one of the reasons I love kindergarten.

If you made it this far through this post then you deserve a freebie! I'll be posting tomorrow some classroom pics and a freebie or two! Stay tuned!