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January 9, 2012

Funniest story ever!

You all have one. That one little guy who is as sneaky as can be and will try to steal anything he can fit into his pocket, pencil box, or book bag. He's an equal opportunity kleptomaniac who will take anything regardless of it's value. He's been caught red handed with everything from an orange connecting cube to some body's snack. He doesn't mean any harm in taking any of this stuff, he just knows he wants it so why cant he just take it?
Well I have one this year. He's a sweet kid who wants nothing more than to make you happy, but his ADHD is severe and taking random objects from the class is just one of the challenges I have had to get use to. It's actually gotten to the point that anytime I see one of his pockets bulging, I know it's time to go pat him down and then inspect his book bag. He takes things from me and the other kids almost daily. If I don't catch it before he goes home, his mom will send it back the next day in Ziploc baggie. Today was no different from any other. He was actually having a really good day. (The other two who came in without meds today-well that's a whole other posting!) We were on our way to art class, just getting started to line up when I noticed him at the back of the line....shoulders hunched up, one hand in his pocket, and his eyes shifting left and right to see who was watching.
I knew right away there was something in that right front jeans pocket that he didn't want anybody to know he had! As I approach him, I see his pocket is bulging! He barely has room to get his hand out of it! I slid up next to him and the conversation went something like this:
Me: "B", what's in your pocket?
B-Nothing! (his rips his hands out of his pocket and his eyes are wide as saucers right about now)
Me: I think you have something in your pocket because I saw you playing with it. What do you have? You know we can't take toys with us to art class.
B: Nothing!
Me: Now "B" you know that if I have to, I will take it out of your pocket. This is the last chance you have to just give it to me. By now he is clutching his pocket with both hands. He knows I'll do it.
Me: Okay, move your hands. (I reach for his pocket and he gives up. He knows it's no use drawing attention to himself by arguing with me).
I reach into his pocket and grab a handful of stuff. There's a broken purple crayon, a Popsicle stick and what I think at first glance are some markers. But I keep looking at these markers. Something is not right. Markers are not this shiny, or all one color. Markers aren't usually retractable. As I stare at these colorful plastic tubes in my hands, it finally dawns on me what I'm looking at. I didn't recognize them after pulling them out of a five year old's pocket unwrapped!!!!!!

Those aren't markers my friends!!!! Those are unwrapped tampons!!!!
I was so shocked! I instantly start wondering if they're mine, then realize I ran out of those about a month ago and had to run to another teacher down the hall....Phew! That's a relief!!!

Me:(Now trying to hide them behind my back and keep a straight face just in case any other child just happens to recognize them. I can only imagine the stories they would tell later at home about Mrs. S and a handful of tampons!) Where did you get those?!?!?!?
B: From home. (He obviously has no idea what they are)
Me: Well I'm just going to hang on to them. I don't think your mom wants them back now.
And then off we go to art class.

After I dropped them off, I shared this story with the girls in my hallway everybody I met in the hall, because it was so unbelievably funny! And also, I wasn't quite sure if I should send them back home. Should I include a note? What in the world do you say in a note home about that?!
I decided that I would be horrified if my 5 year olds teacher returned the tampons that my son had taken to school that day and decided to just threw them away without sending a note. I am a little scared now of what he will bring in for his Show~N~Tell next week. :)

Stories like these are just one of the reasons I love kindergarten.

If you made it this far through this post then you deserve a freebie! I'll be posting tomorrow some classroom pics and a freebie or two! Stay tuned!


  1. Too funny!!! I just love finding the little treasures they've brought from home. My favorite was a hamster. Yep! A hamster. In a purse. Fun times. :) Thank God I thrive on CRAZY. Otherwise it would be time to find a new job! haha Hope the rest of your week is boring after this doozy of a Monday.

    Ms. Preppy's Adventures in Primary and Polka Dots

  2. We have a little girl in kindergarten this year who sounds a lot like him - except she is frequently off medication. One day, when she was in line for the bus at the end of the day, a teacher noticed that her cheeks were bulging suspiciously. Suspecting she had gotten into gum or candy or something, the teacher asked her to open her mouth. She reluctantly complied, revealing, to everyone's horror, that she was sucking on broken glass!

    She had apparently found a broken beer bottle at recess on the playground (rough neighborhood - used condoms, bottles and even a mattress have all been found on our playground at one time or another!) and smuggled some of the glass into her pocket. When she got back to class she transferred it to her backpack and then fished it out again at the end of the day. Apparently either the taste of the beer residue or just the pretty green glass attracted her so much that she popped a whole shard into her mouth like a hard candy! I can't imagine how she managed all of that without a single cut! Thankfully she's not in my class, otherwise I'd go bonkers keeping an eagle eye on her at all times!

    I'm actually lucky - no kleptos this year in my class! Just a really big ham ho knows he's the class clown...sigh....

    Thanks for the entertaining story - I'm sure I would have been beet red if it were me!

    Jennifer @ Herding Kats In Kindergarten

  3. Ha ha! Too funny. I feel for you though:)

    Grade ONEderful

  4. Thanks for becoming a follower of my blog...I am now following you too. We "shovers" have to stick together;)

    The colorful tampons...totally funny!

  5. Thank you so much for the giggle! I soooo needed that today!

  6. That made me laugh so hard I cried. Thanks for the laugh.

    Queen with Class

  7. Hilarious! I am taking one year off teaching to do a district tech job and your story makes me miss my kiddos! I miss standing in the hallway laughing about things like this! Thanks for sharing!
    PS I am your newest follower! Saw your blog listed as a great new blog via Chickadee Jubilee!

  8. So funny! It is amazing what they find. I have a little girl that puts EVERYTHING in her mouth!!! You never know what you are gonna find, do you?

  9. Loved this story. I have one for you. I have a boy just like that in my classroom! He too was playing around with something in his pocket and we too had just about the same conversation. He finally reaches in a pulls out what is in his pocket and places it in my hand. It was a rolled up worm. It was alive but its life was hanging by a thread. I was horrified, but held it together. I went calmly to the trash can and gave him a proper resting place!!! I just found your blog and I am your newest follower!


  10. I am new to the blogging world and just love your story! Kids are so funny! When you have a chance stop by my new blog!!

    Thanks sooo much!

  11. Awesome story! As a mother of 3 boys, I'm thinking I would love to have this story written up and put in the baby book to be shared at a much later time!

    Congratulations! I am awarding you the Liebster Award for new bloggers! Check out my blog for details!

  12. This is too funny! I have had a child eat an entire pencil. One of my friends has a child who licked the urinal...they keep us on our toes!

    I just found your wonderful blog and am happy to be your newest follower! I would love for you to come visit me when you get the chance!

    Heather's Heart


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